Posts from the BB

I think and talk about relationships all the time. I think they're fascinating. Sometimes I wonder why people are so quick to form a bond with someone else, its like they're thinking that if they don't form that bond they'll be alone forever.

I get my "I'm gonna be alone forever" depressed moods too, I do but that doesn't make me snatch onto the first shark I see like some remora (Look it up). I will admit I'm really interested in a relationship right now but that's just me. I have no problems being single, most times I like it. There is just something about being with someone that feels just as right as being single.

Relationships are complex. Two people with different personalities, trying to be together, though the love is there, trying to meld these personalities and lives together takes work.

Why the hell am I writing about this you may ask? It just came to me because I thought about being older and not wanting to be singing a song, writing a poem about whomever it is I love now but can't have because of the decisions I made before really thinking about it. I don't want to be with anyone that I just love I want to be with someone I'm IN love with.

Someone once said that love doesn't die it just changes. I do believe it was Dawson at his parents' wedding on Dawson's Creek (don't judge me !). I thought it was so true and appropriate I want my love and my love's love to keep changing into something that's so much better than the last.

I Want To Be Made...

Cable is the devil's playground. I swear. As soon as I start watching one thing 5 minutes later I'm watching something else promising to return to the first thing but after changing the channel 6 additional times I forgot what the first show was. SMH. It's tragic.

I have a few staples that I do watch almost everyday.

"MADE" on MTV - I am obsessed. I absolutely love this show. It's weird because I don't know why. I think I like the Cinderella thing. It's great... OK well most times it's great. Maybe only for me though.

"Pimp My Ride" on MTV2 - I love to watch the crappy cars get made over. I love the rapport between the mechanics and Xzibit is hilarious.

"Wild 'N Out" on MTV2 - OK Nick cannon isn't the greatest actor/rapper/whatever it is he actually does but the skits are sometimes funny and the comedians he works with are hilarious.

"Iron Chef" on Fine Living - The theatrics from these Asian people and the voice overs are the funniest shit on TV next to "MXC" which used to be on Spike. The mystery ingredient is always creepy and the chefs are hilarious. The food always looks interesting.

"Iron Chef America" on Food Network - Not as funny as it's counterpart but still good. I love the food they prepare as well.

"Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives" on Food Network - I just like seeing food prepared and Guy Fieri always gives us some nice options.

"Living Singe" on Oxygen - Ground breaking for the black community and it's a classic. I love the show it was hilarious and fresh. I watch the almost daily marathons that are on Oxygen.

"Ace of Cakes" on Food Network - Hilarious! I love the cakes they are so talented but the characters themselves are HILARIOUS! The jokes are so funny.

(click pics to go to show sites)

Bits and Pieces from Movies on the Movie channels (I'll do a later post with Movies I Saw Last Week)

Bits and pieces of Music videos.

This is sad huh? There's nothing educational, nothing about the news. Frivolous frippery, save us all Lord.

Wheres the fucking music?

I am always the person to watch the music awards show and give a nice little feedback here once it's over. Last night though, the American Music Awards, I just couldn't stand the bullshit. It was literally just one big amalgamation of people with no talent (alright 80% no talent) screaming in my face. I couldn't do it. The music scene is just not what it used to be. Ego trips, schizo trips, designer pantyliners. Wheres the fucking music? Wheres the fucking music?

PP Beyonce looked real good in her performance, Rihanna looked real good on the red carpet as did Queen Latifah. Mariah just ain't what she used to be and Leona Lewis is cute but forgettable.

Posts from the BB

Damn, damn, damn. I watched Antoine Fisher for the first time earlier this year. I cried through the entire movie. That was a moving, life altering experience for me.

As I also did at the funeral scene in Four Weddings and a Funeral

As Brokeback Mountain just did. It went way past the gay theme,cinematically it was perfect. I def see why Ang Lee won the Oscar. I'm on the verge of tears. It was as emotional as you can get. Whoooooo

Posts from the BB

I cried this morning for the first time in ages. I was reading a book, very beauty and the besta esque, and the hero had burn scars on his body and I thought I know what this man is going through because I go through life feeling like I have scars all over my body. I feel like I repulse people, most times I think people just pity me because that's what you do to people who are as badly scarred as I am. Sure you can't see those scars but they are there. Almost everyday I feel like this and I cried because all of that just came rushing to the fore.

I know that life's not easy on anyone, and I have felt good about me over the past few years but I still have that nigling feeling that my friends are just there because I have just always been thre and refused to let go. Like a fucking parasite. I'm not pretty, never have been never will be, my personality leaves a lot to be desired. I'm moody, introverted, shy... It goes on and on.

Ugly and dull that about sums up my entire life. Thanks for listening.

Posts from the BB

I want kp to know that I love her, seriously for always being super supportive of me and by extension the things I do. I love you kp now and possibly forever so u better deal with it.

I've been trying to get a few persons I know and like to do guest posts on here but its harder than a mofo to get them to even consider it. *sigh* I'm bored with myself writing on here. Tired of reading my own hoopla. I want something new, something fresh. Oh well I know someone will come through, let me rephrase I HOPE someone will.

So...I have a beard.

Yes I am a woman, and yes I have a vagina and yes I have a beard. I usually try to hide that fact because I really am not proud of it but there's not much biologically that I can do about it. I want to thank all of those persons who snicker behind my back, laugh in front of my face just be actual assholes about it. Thank you.

I've never cried about it nor have I cursed the devil about it. There are somethings where crying and rationalizing and cursing just won't help. So I live with it. Every damn day. I don't let it grow but I'm very careful when getting rid of it because the only thing more unattractive than a beard on an already struggling with attractiveness girl is razor bumps (eww...!)

So yeah... I have a beard.

Fuck you.

Reflective

I haven't been in a reflective mood in a while. I'm not sure if i ever mentioned The Wandering Caravan blog before but it's an amazing read. Very historically based, very interesting, guaranteed to put you in a reflective mood. A great blog about black history (somewhat) mostly about the black gay man's struggle to be. The blog is biased (but name one blog that isn't including this one) but historically very poignant, the blog literally made me research some facts (because I don't take no man's word as gospel) and that's one of the beauties about it. Makes you think, makes you reflect.

The fact that the author calls himself the Bronze Buckaroo is totally endearing as well. After watching a docu about black Western themed (cowboy) movies of the 20's and 30's Ive been enthralled. Herb Jeffries, a pioneer in the genre, was gorgeous! The movies they looked so fun and funny and I can only imagine watching a movie in those times called "The Bronze Buckaroo" with an almost all black cast. What must have the people thought? I bet it's the same that alot of people thought at 11pm Nov 4th, 'My kids can be/are/will be someone.' Absolute pioneers.

So fittingly !!Hot Guy Of This Day!! is... HERB JEFFERIES! Hot Guy of September 24, 1911. The man could/can sing... but that's not why he's so HOT!

Herbert - This very English-sounding boy's name is in fact Old French/German in origin (the French pronunciation is Air-Bair), based like many old French names on Germanic words. These are heri or hari "army" and berth "bright" or "famous."

Today's title pic is beautiful...

**P.P. - WTF is this man talking about? So I'm on a call while writing this post and the man goes on a tangent about uniting communities and leaving out drama. WTF? WTF? "Jahoviah is our father," "Marcus Garvey say..." *raised brow?* Quoting bible verses, the Lord's prayer? I cannot and I simply REFUSE!!!

Stop... Obama time...

Why are bitches so loud? Why are bitches bitches? I can't even express. Woosa. That bitch just messed up my whole flow.

So Barack Obama huh?

Stop... Obama time...

I cannot even express. I can't. I can't. There are no words. No words. I'm tearing up reading shit on the internet left right and center. I'm at work trying not to break down like a fool. What I love about the voters this election is the way people want to work together to solve the issues. They aren't just depending on President-elect Obama (:-D) to solve all their problems they want to be involved in the process they want to solve their own problems. That is what is most inspiring about Obama he inspires you to want to do better to be better to make the world better. He inspires you to want to be apart of the porocess.

Someeone commented on a site I was reading that they were ready, ready for the work, ready to do what they needed to do to ensure that the policies that are important to them are at the fore. I've never been the greatest fan of America. I like them, they remind me of Jamaica in some ways but the country is entirly too large, too many people and with so many different views the issues and problems will never be fully addressed. In that we are common. Jamaica is too small, but still too many people with similar or the same ideologies equals horrid conditions and no progress.

I want to do my part for the world. Be apart of this world I was born into. I will make the decisions, I will be the change the world needs and if enough people say this, if enough people believe we can change the world.

Title pic is absolutely beautiful...