Tied

I've spoken about my love/hate relationship with my workplace. Today is another day that exacerbates the hate part of that relationship. I'm tired of these people making decisions for me. As someone rightly said, during the training session I'm currently doing, they decide when I piss, when I eat lunch if I'm sick enough to home... They run my life. Sure work isn't usually a pleasurable experience and certainly I need the fucking money if I don't want to live on the street but to have to make the decision to either have my head explode while at work due to a migraine or to sleep on the street seems like cruel and unusual punishment to me and that was not in the job description.

I am a slave working to support massa and his overseers. I do a shitload of work everyday, I come in on time, I leave after the time they've dictated and yet I still get minimum. Minimum benefits, minimum pay, minimum social life. Do you know how it feels to be tethered? I am tied to an instrument that hurts my jaw, my ear and my brain. I do that almost everyday and I have one choice either to experience that pain or sleep in the streets. HA! Essentially I have no choice at all.

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Posts from the BB

There've been times in my life when I've seen someone and wanted to go up to them invite them out and actually return their calls if they do call. I never do though. I'm always disappointed in myself and always leave the situation feeling unhappy. I do have to tendency to be the shrinking violet but that is the persona that fits me and feels good for me. I am not the one who will be shouting across the room, or being the center of attention. I'm never that person and I don't want to be that person. I just want to be able to approach someone without fear of being belittled or coming away feeling less than myself. I don't really have a fear of rejection, that comes with the territory of putting yourself out there but I fear people making fun of me, chewing up and spitting in my face. I've had too much of that happen already.

It really all boils down to being rejected though doesn't it? So reading above you can see I'm wrong. I don't want for someone else to tell me I'm not wanted. I don't want them to reject me because I think I've felt so much rejection already. I don't want to die but I feel like I'm struggling to live... I've heard that somewhere before can't remember where but right now its really a true reflection of where my life is. Antwone Fisher's got me fucked up.

P.P. - I was not in a good place when I wrote this. In my heart I feel like there is so much to live for but sometimes I feel like I'm in the middle of the ocean treading water by myself. 'Why continue?' I ask myself buyt then theres an answer 'Because land is just ahead, gotta keep your head up...even though the road is hard don't give up' and I continue. As we should all continue. I continue.

Yes Yeast Yes...

Soooooo... I had a yeast infection a few months ago. Worst experience of my life (that' saying much right?) At first I had no idea what was wrong with me down there and I really don't have that type of relationship with my mother to discuss it. I didnt really want to tell my friends so I just let it continue. It hurt so much and I have no idea what I was thinking when I let it continue for about a month and a half before finally going to the doctor. I never want to go through that again. I also don't want anyone else to go through that experience or to let it continue for lengthy periods after it starts.

WHAT IS A YEAST INFECTION? - Yeast is a type of fungus. Yeast infections are caused by overgrowth of the fungus Candida albicans. Small amounts of yeast are always in the vagina. But when too much yeast grows, you can get an infection.Yeast infections are very common. About 75 percent of women have one during their lives. And almost half of women have two or more vaginal yeast infections. (Source)

Candidiasis, commonly called yeast infection or thrush, is a fungal infection (mycosis) of any of the Candida species, of which Candida albicans is the most common. (Source) Candida albicans is a fungus (a form of yeast), which is capable of sexual reproduction. (Source)

SYMPTOMS - Symptoms include severe itching, burning, and soreness, irritation of the vagina and/or vulva, and a whitish or whitish-gray discharge, often with a curd-like appearance. Many women mistake the symptoms of the more common bacterial vaginosis for a yeast infection. In a 2002 study published in the Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology, only 33 percent of women who were self-treating for a yeast infection actually had a yeast infection, while most had either bacterial vaginosis or a mixed-type infection instead. (Source)

In men (yes men too), symptoms include red patchy sores near the head of the penis or on the foreskin, severe itching, and/or a burning sensation. Candidiasis of the penis can also have a white discharge, although uncommon. However, having no symptoms at all is common, and usually, a more severe form of the symptoms may emerge later (don't I know it) (Source)

The most common symptom of a yeast infection is extreme itchiness in and around the vagina. Other symptoms include:
burning, redness, and swelling of the vagina and the vulva
pain when passing urine
pain during sex
soreness
a thick, white vaginal discharge that looks like cottage cheese and does not have a bad smell
a rash on the vagina
You may only have a few of these symptoms. They may be mild or severe. (Source)

CAUSES - Pregnancy and the use of oral contraceptives have been reported as risk factors, while the roles of engaging in vaginal sex immediately and without cleansing after anal sex and using lubricants containing glycerin remain controversial. Diabetes mellitus and the use of antibiotics are also linked to an increased incidence of yeast infections. Diet has been found to be the cause in some animals. (Source)

Antibiotic and steroid use are the most common reason for yeast overgrowth. The former kills the bacteria which would otherwise help maintain Candida at safe levels, thus allowing the fungus to overgrow. (Source)

In penile candidiasis, the causes include sexual intercourse with an infected party, low immunity, antibiotics, and diabetes. Male genital yeast infection is less common, and the risk of getting it is only a fraction of that in women; however, yeast infection on the penis from direct contact via sexual intercourse with an infected partner is not uncommon. (Source)

Many things can raise your risk of a vaginal yeast infection, such as:

• stress


• lack of sleep


• illness


• poor eating habits, including eating extreme amounts of sugary foods


• pregnancy


• having your period


• taking certain medicines, including birth control pills, antibiotics, and steroids


• diseases such as poorly controlled diabetes and HIV/AIDS


• hormonal changes during your periods (Source)

TREATMENTS - Yeast infections can be cured with antifungal medicines that come as:

• creams


• tablets


• ointments or suppositories that are inserted into the vagina

These products can be bought over the counter at the drug store or grocery store. Your doctor can also prescribe you a single dose of oral fluconazole (floo-con-uh-zohl). But do not use this drug if you are pregnant.
Infections that don’t respond to these medicines are starting to be more common. Using antifungal medicines when you don't really have a yeast infection can raise your risk of getting a hard-to-treat infection in the future. (Source)

PREVENTION -

• Consider taking a daily supplement designed to help prevent the recurrence of a yeast infection


• Keep you vaginal area clean, being sure to wash the area when you shower


• After a shower or bath, make sure your vaginal area is completely dry before getting dressed


• Wear cotton underpants and pantyhose with a cotton crotch


• After using the toilet, always wipe from front to back


• Avoid sharing towels and washcloths


• Wash your under garments in hot water and skip the fabric softener in the dryer


• Avoid clothing that is tight in the crotch


• Always change out of your exercise clothes or swimsuit immediately after working out or swimming


• Change your sanitary pads or tampons frequently and avoid using ones that are scented


• Avoid using heavily scented soaps, perfumes and talcum powder


• Avoid douching


• Use antibiotics only when necessary


• Eat a diet high in vegetables, protein and grains as well as consuming yogurt that has live acidophilus bacteria; avoid processed foods, sugars and alcohol


• Always use a water soluble lubricating gel during sex


• Consider using a condom if you are having sex and have a yeast infection


• Make sure your vagina is well lubricated during sex; avoid sex if it feels painful


• If you are experiencing chronic yeast infections and are using hormonal contraceptives, like the birth control pill, consider changing your birth control method (Source)

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The Golden Globes

I promised myself I would have made the posted what I wrote about the Golden Globes over a month ago but never got around to it so I'll just post it here. Sure I know the awards season is over and the Oscar's were just on Sunday but it's mine I can do what I please. For my Oscar rantings please feel free to visit my twitter page (to the left of the screen) I ranted and ranted and fell asleep, woke up then ranted some more. Enjoy.

• Booring..


• Thank you Laura Dern


• Ook Don Cheadle


• Thumbs down Eva's dress, jewels are nice Hayden's dress is a throw up Gabriel Burn-surprise! Yay!


• Zachary Quinto fuck yeah


• New Capn Kirk see above


• *sigh*


• *sigh*


• Still funny Ricky Gervais


• Why is the oldest Jonas brother 6 octaves lower than the others?


• Yay WALL-E


• Surprise Yay Johnny Depp!


• I've never heard of Happy-Go-Lucky this makes me content Yay Jakey!


• Seriously Drew the dress is gorgeous


• *sigh*


• Here it comes...RIP Heath Ledger


• Brokaw!


• Colin Farrell just admitted he used to do coke...


• Maggie WTF?


• Aaron Eckhart = Swoon


• Not too upset about Laura Linney but hate her dress


• In Bruges looks good


• DAMN Seth Rogan!


• Love the silhouette hate the top on Renee


• Fox looks short I like it and not at the same time also that E! Interview????


• Giamatti just said ass and pissy


• Tracy Morgan???


• Mamma Mia? Seriously?


• Kate Beck-Seen it, but still pretty


• First time God has been thanked-Ruhmen


• Right David your "wife" second time you've mentioned her tonight I could be watching Hamburger challenge right now on Food Network


• She looks horribly put together Diaz we are now enemies


• I'm so happy the Revolutionary Road was shut out


• Thank you Colin Farrell, One of the better speeches so far


• Salma Hayek-GORGEOUS!


• Sasha Baron Cohen just killed it!


• YES! YES! OMG! Kate Winslet! 'OK Gather'


• Repeat above for Mad Men


• I guess, at least it wasn't Penn


• Watching Rourke is like watching an exploding star, its destructive and the outcome is amazing to see but it's still sad to see it go


• Rourke just said bitch and something about balls


• Slumdog sweep the ting...BROOMIE!!!

As you may have noted I did it in note form. I remember doing this as far back as 7th grade that was over 13 years ago. I love awards shows...sort of.

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P.P. - I will be doing more regular post now since my BB is now fully functional. Thanks for anyone (KP!) who's asked me to continue. I love this blog and anyone who reads my posts or just wants to see what it's about and visits I thank you. Feel free to leave a comment good, bad or indifferent.

The 51st Annual Grammy Awards

The Grammys were very boring this year...The actual show I mean. The best part of the whole show was cutting the fuck up getting twitter updates from people like DurtyMo, KidFury, Freshalina, DomCorleone and trentvanegas. Funniest thing I have ever experienced. I was laughing out loud the entire time. The Grammys sucked though but Congrats to the winners. (BURNING SPEAR!) M.I.A. was just amazingly hilarious, Swagger like us was nice, as was the Radiohead performance, The Four Tops tribute was nice... That's about it for the Grammys.

Now the Chrihanna drama???? That fair made my entire night, my entire weekend. I just didn't see that shit coming, it was totally from left field. I would have never thought that Chris Brown was a lady beater. I mean he has this baby face, laid back, mellow attitude thing but I guess hate comes in all shapes and sizes. I just could not and still can not believe it. Wow! For updates Young, Black and Fabulous always has very good and thorough reports. Natasha's gossip is always on point. Crazy!!!

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Lackluster

Decided to do a reviews of some Movies I Saw Last Week because well the need came over me and I am always about satisfying my id.

Sicko - Michael Moore at is best at America bashing. To be fair he has said in the past that he loves America and sue me I believe him. I understand, I get it. America needs work and as it's citizens of a world power he attempts to make you aware of those issues so that both he and you can be better, live better make America better. As is usual his monotone voice is perfect narration for the documentary. I have only seen 'Bowling for Columbine' which is one of my personal favorite films of all time so I may not be as tainted as others would seem to be who have seen his Palme d'Or winning 'Fahrenheit 9/11'. I like his film making style he often times comes off very self righteous and arrogant but I guess so do alot of other directors, actors, sound mixers...8/10

The Great Debaters - Compelling performances from the two male and single female leads. Complex characters that were played well and kept my attention throughout the movie. Standard performance from Forrest Whitaker, though as with many actors there is a thread of himself that is left within each of his characters which sometimes unfortunately ties them together i.e. see one see them all. Denzel Washington also plays a role, though his character gets lost within the movie, maybe this was deliberate, maybe not. After all the movie is not about his character, though he has an influence over the three young characters who shine throughout the movie. The real star of this film is the story, the fact that the movie is based on a true story is what keeps you enthralled. The speeches were inspiring and my personal fave part of the entire movie. Overall not a bad movie but not great either, each cast member brought something to their role but the movie lacked overall cast unity. Excellent points about the movie are the editing, cinematography and score. 7/10

The Lake House - Love the story. Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves were a nice energy on screen but the chemistry was lacking which may be due to my subjectivity. 'Speed' was uppermost in my mind as I watched, though two completely different movies I was hoping that the fire they had in their previous on screen venture would translate. It didn't. Again two different movies so you can't expect the same, shame on me for doing so. 6/10

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P.P - When it seems like you're about to have a good day somebody always comes along and fucks you up. It's a lie when people say that what others say and do don't affect you even if it is infinitesimal affect you are affected. So, this bitch, comes in and does nothing but put her bag on the desk where I'm sitting. So I'm thinking you know good manners dictates that you say something whether 'I have to sit here' or 'I've been sitting here all along' but this bitch says nothing to me. So I ask 'Are you sitting here?' the bitch says 'Yes' in the most condescending tone as if I wash her nasty draws each day because I need money. In my mind I'm thinking 'So why the fuck didn't you say so?' I have no issues in moving, I really don't give a fuck where I sit in this place but I can't stand people who bitch for the sake of bitching. Bitch. Bitch also has a kid who judging by what I've seen is a bitch in the making. Bitch 2k16. Bitch.