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When I was younger my mother said that it was great that I was ugly and fat because she wouldn't have to worry about boys...Yep she said it right in front of me too. I think about it almost everyday. Sure there was a time after she said it I thought she just wants me to be strong and confident by myself. That's not what stayed with me though.

I'm 23 and I guess I proved her right, my life seems to be failure after faiure so far. The biggest failure of course being myself. I try to tell myself that its ok to be me, yes I'm not attractive and I never will be but if I try to love me then maybe others would do the same. Maybe my family would stop treating me like a pariah, maybe my friends would stop treating me like the maid's daughter. Who am I kidding? There's nothing I can do to change what they think so I'm just going to have to do the best with myself.