Posts from the New BB

Did I mention how better off I am single? Because seriously it's the best state to be in. For me at least. I won't lie and say it stinks to have someone because it doesn't stink. In fact most times it smells wonderful. Being single is just awesome too and if you aren't with the right person then a relationship can feel like a bear trap.

I miss the intimacy of sex though. It's hard not having someone to share that with. Masturbation is only good up to a point and porn is just so boring. I like my freedom but I don't do casual sex and if I have any type of relationship with someone I don't want them to go outside the relationship for anything. I'm not into polyamorous relationships either because I can get insanely jealous and that just wouldn't work for me.

Dilemma!

I like long distance relationships. There's something about someone being far away that works for me. I would not have to see/talk to them everyday. I could see them only a few times a year and we can have our own lives while maintaining something stable. I like learning about other cultures too so that works out great.

I did a search online once trying to find a dating site for people who specifically prefer long distance or are only able to pursue long distance relationships. Found nothing. Prison sites mostly. o_O Yeah...no.

Maybe I'm just being picky.

My name is L-O-N-E-L-Y

Sometimes I wonder if love is really worth it. I seek it. I seek love and acceptance but I wonder if the heartbreak I experience along the way is really worth it. Worth the time, the effort, the sheer physical and mental energy you expunge to get it, keep it and try not to let it turn to shit.

I'm tired of looking though. It's getting to a point where it just seems like all the effort I put out there's nothing being reeled in. I love me, I've had to because it I'd my life and if I waste it thinking about bullshit I'll never experience anything. But I'm so tired of searching for love.

Why's it so easy for some? Dudes see me as another homie. I don't want to be anyone but me...

You know what I'm tired of my own bullshit. The lyrics to one of my fave songs if you've never heard it look it up.

Where I Wanna Be - Donnell Jones
I said I left my baby girl a message
Sayin' I won't be coming home
I'd rather be alone
She doesn't fully understand me
That I'd rather leave than to cheat
If she gives me some time
I can be the man she needs
But there's a lot of lust inside of me
And we've been together since our teenage years
I really don't mean to hurt her, but I need some time
To be alone

[Chorus 1]
But when you love someone
You just don't treat them bad
Oh, how I feel so sad
Now that I wanna leave
She's crying her heart to me
How could you let this be?
I just need time to see
Where I wanna be
Where I wanna be...

Sweet little dee-do-dee-dee...
I don't mean to hurt you, baby, oh, no, no...

[Verse 2]
Never did I imagine
That you would play a major part
In a decision that's so hard
Do I leave, do I stay, do I go?
I think about my life and what matters to me the most
Girl, the love that we share is real
But in time your heart will heal
I'm not saying I'm gone
But I have to find what life is like
Without you

[Chorus 1]

Sweet little dee-do-dee-dee...
I don't mean to hurt you, baby

[Chorus 2 x3]
See when you love someone
You just don't treat them bad
Oh, how I feel so sad
Now that I wanna leave
She's crying her heart to me
How could you let this be?
And I just need time to see
Where I wanna be

Where I wanna be...

World AIDS Day

Another day I wish we did not have to denotate but for those who are unaware December 1st is World AIDS Day. I cannot reiterate enough how important it is to get tested and to encourage others especially young people to get tested. Knowing your status and being safe can save so many lives. Save your own life by getting tested. Save the life of a friend, encourage them to get tested. HIV is truly not a death sentence but we should all try to live our fullest life without ailments or sickness. Let's stay safe and make conscious informed decisions.

 

The Jamaica AIDS Support provides free and anonymous testing services so there really is no reason to stay ignorant of your status. HIV/AIDS is a prevenatble disease that kills millions of people every year. Let us be mindful of those persons who have gone on and honor their memory by doing our best to live a happy, healthy, blessed life.

 

Estimated HIV prevalence and deaths due to AIDS in the Caribbean, as at 2009

 

Country	Living with HIV/AIDS		Deaths due to AIDS during 2009
	All people	Adult (15-49) prevalence %
Bahamas	6,600	3.1	<500
Barbados	2,100	1.4	<100
Cuba	7,100	0.1	<100
Dominican Republic	57,000	0.9	2,300
Haiti	120,000	1.9	7,100
Jamaica	32,000	1.7	1,200
Trinidad and Tobago	15,000	1.5	<1,000

It should be noted that the above figures are estimates and are made with a large degree of uncertainty. For example, the number of people living with HIV in the Bahamas is estimated as being between 2,600 and 11,000.

Source