Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

I finished the tale of Potter two days ago and I'm still feeling the beauty and mastery that was the seven book series. I refuse to give spoilers... The book was my favorite by far and the cover of the UK children's version is my favorite. Reading the book made me think about high school and our fascination with the boy wizard. The book really opened up a beautiful new world for me and my friends. It was also a great binding agent for us all, discussing and marvelling about the books ability to make us believe we were a part of the wizarding world. A beautiful end...even though I hate the fact that it has to end. These are my absolute favroite books of all time and closing that cover really tore me up (along with the stuff in the book of course). End of an era I guess...The movie franchises should end in 2010 and to think at that time I'll be 24 and still going to the theaters to see this movie. Over a decade of good reads and memories... God I'm so emotional.

Today's title pic is the cover I mentioned before.

Friday, August 17, 2007

The Lifting of the Fog

Spent some time just reacquainting myself with the Goddess that is Jill Scott...and as I sit here having Love Rain down on me I keep thinking that this soul of mine is...is ...sigh...I dont even have the words I'm so full of love and the last few weeks have been so eye opening and revealing...measuring. Making me feel strong and beautiful and more like me than anyone else couild possibly be. I'm living in this place now that's so far from the insecure, depressed 17 year old I was a couple years ago and I keep thinking what will I be like tomorrow? Who will I be in 5 years, will she still be beautifula and strong, will she be uncompromising as well as pliant as the 21 year old is today. I'm wondering about the kids I want to have, the children I want to give my all to making sure they know that love and life is here within Momma knowing that love will always be here. I keep thinking about him too...what type of soul will his be...? Will he recognize the glory that I am? Will I see the champion and lover in him? I want to be all that I can...With a smile on my face....Thant Jill is just the epitome of what I want to be...Her songs speak to my life, speak to my heart, transcends my soul... There's some really deep shit going on and sometimes if you're not careful you get swallowed up...What can you do to escape? Let it overwhelm you, let it all come down, feel everything at once and you'll ascend into a consciousness that you nefver thought was possible. The fog lifts and you see the world in a totally new light, a new way. It's a new life...

Today's title pic is so fitting...

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Bathroom Break

I wanted to write some glittering piece of foolishness that noone reads anyway right...but then I decided why? I'm alone here aren't I? Does my mother even see me other than her savior? I love her to death I swear to God but sometimes it's me alone seeing the real me. I have no pretty words, no sweet anythings to say about me...all I have all I've ever had is just this...This face, this body, this life, this... I love my life i just wish I wasn't living it all alone. I feel like if I break my leg now no one would be affected but me. I would have to struggle to get to work, then struggle back home, then sit and cry in my bathroom and ask myself why the fuck my MOM doesn't love me or why my father couldn't have tried to be at least a little bit of a DAD to me. I feel so inconsequential. I tried to think about whether I was depressed or not but I realized, I'm happy about my life. I love my career choice I love me and I love my mother (MOM and mother are two different people...if you hadn't figured it out) I'm just sad and alone, alone because i'm sad...I've got friends but at this point I call them friends by default...If you can't figure it out there's no help for you. I wasn't trying to isolate myself from anyone, I was taking a step back putting me at the fore...Thinking about my life for once and not how someone else's would be affected. I was thinking about how I feel about myself and about how I feel about some of the things my friends do and it made me feel sad. Thinking about not being able to help really, not being able to aid in the hurt that they maybe experiencing. I though about that damn E. J. Dickey's "Between Lovers" and though I absolutely HATED that book (only that one though I LOVED everything else...except maybe "Liar's Game") it got me thinking...Thinking about what the lead female character said about black men and women and the dynamics of that relationship. Thinking about what she said about the vaseline and anal sex. Thinking about what she meant and what these girls must be feeling while in that act whether it be vaseline or saliva its the same degredation and pain. I'm not talking about exploring the realms of sexuality with your partner either I'm talking about fucking for the sake of fucking...Kneeling and bending over for the sake of some man that is doing the same thing to some other girl. Thinking that they feel the humiliation of it all but can't stop, won't stop...refuse to lose. I've moved from the little girl who can't make a choice between Rum and Raisin or Cherry Cheesecake ice cream (I put my money back in my poclket and move the fuck on) I'm thinkg and feeling, chooisng between spiritual wellness, looking in the mirror and seeing more than my face. Seeing the reflection of a woman... not compromised, not sleeping around, wholesome (well not totally wholesome) TRUE....

No title pic today...no words of advice either..Just wishing I didn't have to be told...

Saturday, August 04, 2007


The newest and biggest summer jam of all is "Boyz" by M.I.A. Check it out here... How many, How many, boys are crazy...WHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!