Monday, December 29, 2008

The Hills Are Alive

I first saw "The Sound of Music" when I was about 10 or 11 years old. I was enthralled, the music, the love story, the underlying story of patriotism and pride. I was hooked. Every Christmas until I was about 15 years old I would watch the movie. I was in heaven, along with eating food and spending time with my Mom I was so excited about the movie that I would become euphoric. My Mom would leave me alone for the entire 3 or so hours and not ask me to do anything or lift a finger because she knew it was so important to me... The reason I stopped watching at 15 is because they stopped airing it on TV. I was so sad, seriously... Expecting it to show but having it not was the start of my depression era. It's crazy to think that a movie would be so powerful...but it was and still is today at least to me.

I'm reminded because I watched it last night for the first time in about 2 years. I kept alternating between that and "The Notebook" (which I LOVE!) It was like having a movie orgasm. I swear I was floating. what is clear to me is that I know that everyone has their own mix of movies that mean the world to them that they would stop everything and watch even if they've seen it a thousand times before.

There are a few others that I could add to my own list, in fact when I found the Flixster website I made a list of my fave movies. The list has grown to about 70 or 80 movies but only about 30 of those are my absolute FAVORITES. We all have them whether it be a song or a movie or whatever. Something that makes us happy, maybe because it was introduced at an age where you are most impressionable and just the magic of whatever it is makes us believe in ourselves and what we can do.

The Hills are Alive...

Thursday, December 25, 2008


Does anyone remember a Christmas ad from a few years ago where kids were singing Merry Christmas in French and English?? That was the best ad ever..."It's Christmas, C'est Noel!" I loved it. *sigh*
Merry Christmas to all and to all live, laugh and love!!!!

Title pic...with some friends...

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Posts from the BB

"The Incredibles" is one of the greatest movies ever made. So funny and cute just never get tired of it. "Shoot 'em up" with Clive Owen is also great. Go watch one of these great movies if you have the choice.

Circle of Friends

My friends are the most amazing people I know. I love them to death and this is the sole reason that I put up with their, at best, quirky, at worst, freakishly queer behavior. The thing is though I can be described the same way. I love that they're witty and smart and seriously they're all gorgeous (I, unfortch for me, is the designated ugly friend). I want in a boyfriend what I see in my friends. They're great people and I wouldn't have them any other way.

Sometimes I will admit I can be mucho annoying. Seriously annoying. So is everyone at some point in time. I am happy that I have people who know me, know what I'm about and accept that. Not to say there aren't problems between us sometimes because we have them. We are still young and that youth often times shows through 9not in a good way either). We hurt each other sometimes and we are sometimes very guarded with each other but usually we can see through the bullshit and aren't afraid of calling each other on it.

I can't imagine my life without them and I want to thank I.C.H.S. for giving me one of the greatest experiences of my life. I spent seven long (hard ass) years there and though it wasn't all hunky dory I would do it all over in a second because of the people I met, the stronger persona I developed and the book (and life) learning I received.

So to all those past and present who I will forever and always call friends and even family, I love you and I want to thank you for being you.

Title pic -

P.P. - Totally unrelated to above...Why are all the gay men I see so fucking HOT!?

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Posts from the BB

I am having an anxiety attack. Literally. I haven't had one for months but it just surprised me. It's weird but it usually happens when I'm wearing new shoes. Crazy I know but true. Once I was in a safe spot the feeling waded but I feel so weak. My back, arms, legs and head hurt.

I'm crying right now. I hate these attacks, I don't know when or why they started but I hate them. I can always feel them coming too. My leg starts tingling and sometimes I can avert them but most times they overtake me. Feels like my body is dying and I can feel it and see it but can't do anything about it. My mind is no longer my own. I just don't know what to do.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Posts from the BB

On our way to staff party. Being with Axela is always a good time and I'm so happy that she's here. On our way to fun and frolic. Love u Lex.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Posts from the BB

I haven't done any excercise in about 2 years but I saw a Yoga programme this morning and surprised myself by participating. I forgot how amazing Yoga could be. I did about 40minutes which I know isn't a lot but its more than I've done in ages. It felt wonderful. Yoga is my fave form of excercise, though aerobics is nice because you just feel better after doing it for a couple months. You feel happier, with more energy. Excercise really does a body good. I've wanted to join a gym that offered yoga as a class but seriously I've been as broke as a dog for about 2 months. No extra cash to do anything. I need your support (whoever you are) I need the help with sticking to my diet plan and excercising, which I like. I love it actually which is something you don't hear a lot of especially from persons who are overweight and trying to lose weight but I do. I guess I just need someone to tell me to put the floured, oily snack down.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Posts from the BB

I knew "Iron Chef" was not an ongoing show but to actually see the final show is very emotional for me. I love those weirdo people, the food, the jokes... Sigh

Last night I watched one of my fave British comedies "Coupling" it was so funny and endearing. I can't wait until next week's episode.

Its funny that while people are watching and following the new shows I'm still excited to wait on episodes of shows that ended years ago. "Golden Girls", "Living Single"... Its all great.

Tuesday, December 09, 2008


Anyone who knows me knows that I love me some man. Any race, any type, any height (as I came to my attention recently). I love men and therefore I make it known on my blog as much as possible especially through my feature... Queerty Knows Best. So get ready.


All the hot deliciousness above is as always provided by Queerty and their Morning Goods section. I do believe the best discovery on the web that I've ever made.
Today's Title pic is exactly what I do everytime I visit Queerty's Morning Goods section...

Monday, December 08, 2008

Metamorphosis In Progress

About a year ago I wrote a post about changing. About me changing and becoming the me I wanted. The me I could believe in...but as they say the best laid plans of mice and men oft go awry.

  1. I was and still am so geared to go to Japan but I can't not now because I have a responsibility to my mother and I can't shirk it just because I want to experience something more than my stilted existence.

  2. Being depressed reeks havoc on my diet plans. Everyday I promise I'm gonna do something about this and everyday I reject it and make a promise for another day.

  3. I am going copper just not a s soon as I thought. *surprise surprise*

  4. I'm scared. I don't want to regret getting a piercing.

  5. This is still in the works so I'm more excited for this than piercing something. It's not as scary even though it's permanent.

  6. Not very quantifiable. But I like me better than I did at that time. The decisions I've made have been made without any thought to what anybody would think or say.

My aim of that was to start n the path that would eventually make me a better happy person. The fact that I've done none of these things feels like a giant fist has taken me by the throat but I'm hopeful that I will get them done and that i will go through with it and once i have I'll feel great and ready to make a million more lists waiting for completion.

Title pic...

Sunday, December 07, 2008


Today's strictly for my homeskilletbusiscuits... Whe Yu Mean...

  • Nikki Z you nuh listen to the music before you play it? You a tell me seh if me give you a tape you just ago play it so and no listen to it before? How you mek dem suspend you again? Weh yu mean? You know seh the big wigs don't play when it come to Broadcasting Commission. A play song wid big bloodclaat badword (the b--b-c---- B.C. dont control me) inna song. Certainly is no skin off my back if you deh pon di radio or not because most mornings I can't stand to hear you give false, hearsay information and mispronouncing words as if the English language does not exist but there are people who love the programme and with you gone that 6am - 10am slot is just not the same basically you're the only amusing one on the entire station. Do better man.

  • Weh yu mean Ele??? Grammy nod...Mucho, mucho, caliente, tranquello! Personally I don't remember any songs from the "Let's get Physical" album but u turn badboy and get grammy nomination for the first time. I am happy that we get a straight dancehall album nominated this year... Noone mention Shaggy please, I love Shaggy but milking Mr. Boombastic, It Wasn't Me and Church Heathen to death does not a dancehall artiste make. Shaggy does his thing though and lives great so all props to him.

  • Ele back to you again, what is this I hear about you and a...peacock? Weh yu Mean? I am sorry to hear about the death of your dogs but you get new dogs Ele. You do not get a peaccok and wife it up like it's a child. I am inclined to think, based on my observations of the ridiculous colors that you put together on your body, that you are taking fashion tips from the peacock. My friend Axela would curse you and that peacock and undoubtedly the dutty peahen dem (as she so affectionately calls them).

  • Weh yu mean? Weh yu mean? Weh yu mean? You know what fucking pisses me off when dem so called homophobes rail up for the songs that denigrate the gay culture and then turn around are participants in the gay acts themselves. What I hate even more is that they refuse to use protection because in their convoluted mind to do so would mean that they are gay as if having anal sex doesn't already do that.

  • Kartel that interview with Anthony Miller for Entertainment Report was straight awesome. Weh yu Mean? Funniest thing I've ever watched from you. Best interviews to watch 1. Bounty Killer, 2. Beenie Man, 3. Vybz Kartel, 4. Ninja Man. Absolute nonsense. You watch them in awe. I swear.

  • When and how will this daggering thing end? I'm tired, tired, tired of people dislocating hips and the, basically, rape of women in the dancehalls. Weh yu mean? Serioulsy? Pus\hing a woman on the ground then forcibly ramming your hips into her pelvic bone...who came up with that? There needs to be an end. Please before people start to really get hurt. Then again people always say that you can bring a horse to water but you can't make them drink so the choice (if you can call it that) is left up to these women. Just leave me out of it.

  • "Trailerload Ah Money" by Vybz Kartel soundtrack for life dat we say! Weh yu mean? Of course... Me nuh born rich but me nah dead poor. Print it, print it...!

Today's title pic.

Saturday, December 06, 2008


Thursday, December 04, 2008

Posts from the BB

One great thing about cable is that you can watch all the music videos you want and sometimes you even get a music video/song that you like. For example I've been borderline obssessed with Beyonce's "Single Ladies" video because the concept is refreshing and the dancing is awesome. The song I could let pass. "Believe" by the Bravery is an amazing song, the lyrics and sound are so haunting. "Pavement" by Adele is an all time fave of mine and I LOVE the video. MTV Hits recently ahd a Linkin Park video marathon. I was in heaven.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Posts from the BB

My mother(not my grandmother) doesn't know how angry I am with her. I say I love her but often its forced and I don't feel that emotion. I don't even like her not really. I'm not indifferent to her but I'm not overly emotional about her either. I'd be sad if she were hurt, but no sadder than when I lost my cat.(I'm being serious) She left me way before she migrated and I'm still fucked because of a lot of shit that my parents didn't do for me.

That's why the movie "Antoine Fisher" resonated so much with me I feel a lot of the emotions that the lead character was feeling. If you haven't seen it I recommend it. I'm angry at her and my father for burdening my grandmother with a child they knew they didn't want. I'm angry at them for not helping her out now that she's older and in need of it.

Sometimes I think I hate them and am so disgusted when they talk to me I want to shout at them to just fuck off. To leave like they want to and not bother to come back because it makes not sense for them to be here. What's the purpose of having someone in your life who does nothing for you? To make me better I need people who are positives in my life.

But I don't hate them, but I don't love nor really like them either.

Monday, December 01, 2008

Mother Fuckas make me sick

Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. Seems to be the title of my working life. I hate working late. I am more than cool with waking up in the before day morning and coming to work. Oddly that works for me and I try to fit as many hours I can into those lovely lighted hours but I've been at work now since 11am and I feel like the fucking day will not end. I have to deal with bullshit people on my left and my right.

I don't kiss ass. At least I try not to. If I like you I like you if I don't I just don't. I hate pretentious, obnoxious, sycophants. "Yes massa...", "No massa..." is not my shit. I don't massa for nobody. I respect your hustle. No issue make your money but do not come into my face flaunting like you have something. You don't got nothing nigga. You just a fucking nigga like me trying to survive. Shut the fuck up and do the work you were hired to do. Fucking Mother Fuckas make me sick.


For the past 2 years now on December 1st I always write a post about this. Today is World AIDS Day. As usual I hate the fact that we have to be acknowledging this dreadful disease. The fact I hate even more so is that I still have to be reminding people to PROTECT THEMSELVES. How hard is this to understand? How hard can it really be? (No pun intended) This is something I will never understand, much like Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Mariah and Nick Cannon. Mysteries....

I want to protect myself and my family for as long as I can. I want them all to live for as long as they can and AIDS is a disease that doesnot want that dream to come true. What always gets me is that this deadly disease is PREVENTABLE. It's not like cancer where even when you wrap your head in tinfoil or never have a microwave, never smoke and drink purified water all day every day you can still get a malignant tumor in your parietal lobe that is as big as Mr. Man's head. AIDS is preventable so no matter how much he/she says you can go without you need to be as clear that you value your life and theirs and all you want is to continue the living and loving.

Wrap it up. To get more information visit the World AIDS Day 2008 website. Feel free to ask me anything or tell me anything. I am here.

PP - YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! 4 Days of Vacay here I come. SWEET! It so happens that my vacation time falls on the day we're having our Bashment Christmas partay. Whoo Whoo!!!!!