The new year had me realizing that no matter how hard you wish for something that doesn't mean it'll come true. No matter how badly you need it to happen for you. No matter how badly you think you need it...No matter how hard you dream about it...This doesn't make it happen. I've been wishing and hoping that my wishes will finally be granted and I'll be happy because I finally got something I asked for. Thats not going to happen is it? I think it's so hard for me too...because I feel like theres just something missing from what I'm doing. What am I doing? Is it influential? Does it matter? Do I? Why do i feel like I don't?