Thursday, May 15, 2008

Away

I am not a writer. I am merely a girl, a girl's girl...a girl's girl who looks like a lesbian. I'm cool with that... Don't care what people think about me but I do care what I think about myself. Lately I havent been liking me. In my head I say that i'm not lying to my friends it's true I am not avoiding you but in my heart there is some lying going on. To an extent sometimes I just wanna be alone or be with the two people who make me feel good about me lately. Make me feel like my input is needed. I'm sorry I don't want to be there for you now...I hate saying that.
I've been supportive all my life trying to make my self the person you can unload on. I've got some unloading to do myself but I feel that theres noone to turn to so I just go on turning and turning until I'm a tornado of emotions and baggae that noone can penetrate. I am alone in the midst of this storm and I don't see anyone trying to get in. That hurts. What you're all concerned about is the way I'm acting towards you and yes I know you are open but you're also judgmental, stubborn, elitist, I could go on... You hear what you want to hear and I can't have that around me now. I love you I do...and mostly I REALLY can't find the time to scratch my nose much less keep in contact but thats only part of the reason I'm away.
Sometimes I need to be away from you.
Title pic...

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