I may not look it but I am competitive type of bitch. I'll work my ass off to do good especially at things I'm interested in and passionate about. I'll go without sleep, I'll do double triple overtime to ensure that what I produce not only achieves the standard but surpasses it. But…here's that bitch word but. Once I lose interest I don't give a fuck about it. I don't even give it a second glance. Unfortunately this is what's happening to me at my job. I'm over my current position. Like so far over it I'm flying to the fucking moon. As I'm over it there's nothing in it that captivates me at all. In fact I'm just working for the paycheck because other than that this job holds no mystique for me at all. I wont go so far as to say I hate it but it doesn't stimulate me intellectually at all.
This and only this can explain the abysmal score (in my eyes) that I received for the last observatory period. Usually my score exceeds expectation without much effort from me but as I have placed even less effort than normal my score is simply an achieved. UGHHHHHH!!!!!! Yes of course it's my fault. I understand that without any effort my score will fall but I just feel less and less enamored with the position than ever. I have been searching and submitting my resume for other positions with no luck. Instead what I will do is re-invigorate myself and put more effort into this position. I don't want to get fired so I'm going to pump it up.
My plans depend on me having a job where I can make a nice enough living that will allow me to save to make those plans come to fruition so I've got to do better. I guess starting today I will be.