I think the lightening and rain just woke me up to read that message. An old friend of mine from school, great person, will be moving to France for work. She sent an email to let everyone know. Even though we haven't spoken in years she sent me an email to let me know.
A dream of mine has always been to get a job in a foreign land. I'm happy for her, very happy, because she is such a great person and her sincerity and kindness and intelligence is what we all want to spread across the world to show that we Jamaicans are more than the few parts shown on international screens.
I'd be lying though if I said I wasn't jealous. I have my own plans for later this year and I had previously considered the programme she's a part of but the resources I'd need to participate in it just aren't there so I've chosen a different path. I've chosen it and have been sending nothing but positive thoughts into the universe hoping against hope that this wish, this dream of mine will come true.
I was sound asleep when the thunder woke me. I don't know if I should take it as a sign that this dream I'm cooking up, this seemingly impossible dream is going to come to fruition but reading her email gave me hope. I don't feel as fucked as I did before. I guess the rains brought me hope to this deserted dream deferred. I'm hoping that's the case. Now it's brought fertile thoughts to my mind and I can't go back to sleep.