Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Post from the new BB

It's the swoon. That sigh when you see them after an absence or when they smile, laugh, speak, move, cough...I know you know what I mean. It's their smell and walk and general carriage that make you swoon.

They make you light headed and sway because it overwhelms you. Takes you by surprise. That swoon you're just not ready for it. That involuntary reaction to the person you're really feeling.

I'm crushing really hard right now. Crushing mighty hard and uncertain how to continue, how to transition from crush to potential suitor. Uncertain if I should even make the attempt. Thinking I should count my winnings and let this infatuation play itself out. I've pretty much reconciled with the fact that it really will never happen. Seeing him everyday though throws a wrench in the plans to murder the crush. I also made the, I realize now, misguided decision to tell my friends. They won't let it drop so I can't let it drop.

Oh the swoon. It takes me over when I see dude smile and laugh and generally be himself. Wish I didn't have these feelings, makes things so complicated. One sided love affairs suck.

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