Wednesday, July 06, 2011

Posts from the new BB

So my homie says she doesn't feel attractive. What?! All my friends are beautiful, beyond gorgeous. This is what I've always thought and I'm not alone in thinking that. For years I considered myself the 'ugly' friend and doubted my place among them because they were so beautiful.

They aren't just beautiful outside either but they are total sweethearts (most times) inside too. I find it amazing that she would say this. I never knew this was an issue for her because her confidence has always been something I envied. Battling with confidence issues I would seek to emulate her, try to gain her secret and through her especially I found my own confidence. Through her support and praise I've grown considerably.

Everyone has doubts about some aspect of themselves and mostly it's an internal battle that may take years to win, it's a marathon that will undoubtedly see you fall but as long as you get back up you will eventually have the strength to finish. Sometimes it's a never ending battle but where you are in that race determines how fast you shake it off and get back up.

It's weird that I'm essentially giving advice about self acceptance because I haven't won my own war but there are so many battles that I have won with myself that maybe someone who isn't as far in their journey may get something. A few years ago I was a mess. A fucking mess. A serious fucking mess. Life, I discovered, is just the most amazing thing we're given and we only have one shot so if I fuck it up I have nothing left. So I keep getting back up after every fall, after every ripple of self doubt, I just keep getting back up.

So to my homie*, bitch I love you to death, you're beautiful beyond words and you're amazingly smart and witty and funny and kind. Don't ever doubt that and if you do just give me a call or Ping me and I'll spend an hour telling you how stupid you are for thinking anything else.

I love you ese.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Im weeping......... ,i so happy u wrote this, the thing is,ive always wanted to be so much like u in so many ways...i guess evryone has insecurities.btw never stop doing this blog...NEVER!!! its helped in in so many ways,u dont even knw!!!!

Homie for life....dueces!!!!

p.s. lend me $5 Ese LOL