I'm trying to understand where you're coming from and where my animosity towards you is coming from. Don't get me wrong there will never come a time when I don't love you but there are a few instances I find I don't like your fucked up attitude.
I am trying to be as open as I can because like me you don't take criticism well. You don't want any mirror on you until you are ready to see it. One of the reasons I barely say shit to you anymore because you'll take it as an insult. So I take potshots instead. Those you understand, those you value, those you can embrace and process.
It feels like the tides have shifted so crazily. My depression had me using you as my source of everything. I was so dependent and damaged. I needed a crutch, needed someone to keep me sane and alive. You were there for me when the tides were roughest. You may not know it but countless times you saved me from ending it. Just by being yourself. Being this amazing person who was there with no pretenses and no judgments.
I wonder if she's the real you or is this the real you? I don't like this stranger bitch. But I could use her again. What do you require of me? To stay in the background? I can do that, couldn't then but I can now. I don't know my position in your life anymore and once where this would cause me to hyperventilate I find I'm just wondering what you need of me to help you breathe.