Sunday, August 22, 2010

Side Order

The below is a piece I wrote and submitted for a women's newsp[aper journal. I didn't expect it to get printed the editor said she just wanted to see my writing style. I don't love it. but it's mine and I love that I had the balls to submit it.

What is it about ordering that extra side of onion rings? Is that apple pie so tasty that you just can't resist? Knowing of course that it will be adding those extras pounds that you don't need. Is it the temptation of the forbidden, the allure of those few bites of heaven...? What is it about the side order that makes it so appealing?

The side piece, the man on the side, Joe Grind...sound familiar? Is he the tempting morsel that makes you feel wanted or is he the physical manifestation of a lack of faith and trust in your existing relationship? How strong is his siren call and why are you answering? The pull of that sweet song is what has pulled many a mariner to their deaths, many a relationships too.

Security. That's the reason I heard most for acquiring this particular side order.

'Makes me feel secure that there's someone else there if something happens to my relationship.'
'I don't want to feel alone'
'I'm keeping my options open'
'He does things my boyfriend won't'
I'm not surprised or shocked that so many of my friends and acquaintances have, along with their main number 1, an order on the side. I have in the past categorized it as a cultural thing but I've come to realize that by cultural I actually mean worldly it's evident in so many countries, so many lives and so many stories. Some may define these relationships as polyamory, participation in multiple and simultaneous loving or sexual relationships, but the women I've spoken with do not consider their side orders as 'relationships' merely as an extra not as a whole.

I could not glean any one reason that gives rise to these relationships and when asked about possibly dissolving the affair I got a very loud, resounding 'NO!' I also asked about attaining and maintaining monogamy with their main partner and one answer I received surprised me.

'When we're older we can think about that'
This is when I realized the error in my study I had only gained information from one age cohort, women between the ages of 22 - 26. Of course my results may be and as evidenced by my results are skewed so now I wonder are older persons immune to the siren's call? Is the allure too tempting for young people to resist or even want to resist? I guess I will ask again when we are older only time will tell if the order's are different.

I can admit that I have taken a few bites of those side orders in my own short life so my view is neither here nor there. I do know that the side order whether it be onion rings, apple pie, Jerome or Trey has an appeal that to some cannot be resisted and there are those who never try to resist the call of 'Anything else with that?'.

P.P. - Constructive criticism is one thing but being unsupportive is something totally different. I am unaware of what unresolved issues you have, I always believed that I was the problem but truthfully maybe I was wrong. I'm reconstructing my mind set, have been doing so for a few years but it seems you're the one caught in the throes of a misspent youth. I wish you'd come to your senses soon but its not my top priority to help you do that.

Title pic -

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