Friday, September 07, 2012

Posts from the New BB

I've always found it hilarious that people come to me for advice. About relationships, careers, studies, parenting...everything. I cannot figure out my own life but I do have a gift when it comes to helping others find their paths.

I can't toot my own horn at all because the advice I usually give them is to follow their hearts, pay attention to their gut instincts and add a dash of logic to cushion your fall if all else fails. It's generic advice that they've probably heard from someone else and themselves but they need a third to solidify the theory.

I have no great life changing advice. Mostly I just sit and listen. I listen to both what they're saying and what they're trying to say. They're always trying to say something. Like the dude who was telling me how much he loved his girlfriend but was falling out of love with her or the lady who was terrified about her husband's being ill and so far away or the girl who wants more than anything to be independent and self reliant.

I listen to all of it. Give them some minutes of my time because I know how difficult it is to want to scream and have it come out as a whimper. A whimper so quiet no one hears or ignores. So I listen, I give them that ear when they need it. I can't measure. I can't measure taking a half hour of my hour lunch to reassure this man that he is not the cause of his father's abuse, that he has to live his own life and not his father's because the past can't be changed, the future is unpredictable and all we've got is the present that we're all trying to escape. He already knew that. I just vocalized that inner voice. That shit can't be measured. Not the help I attempt to offer or the toll it takes on me.

I never tell people what to do because I don't know what to do but I know that in most cases in their hearts and minds they've already made their decisions. I just help them to see that and allow them to be brave enough to follow through.

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