Posts from the BB

I think and talk about relationships all the time. I think they're fascinating. Sometimes I wonder why people are so quick to form a bond with someone else, its like they're thinking that if they don't form that bond they'll be alone forever.

I get my "I'm gonna be alone forever" depressed moods too, I do but that doesn't make me snatch onto the first shark I see like some remora (Look it up). I will admit I'm really interested in a relationship right now but that's just me. I have no problems being single, most times I like it. There is just something about being with someone that feels just as right as being single.

Relationships are complex. Two people with different personalities, trying to be together, though the love is there, trying to meld these personalities and lives together takes work.

Why the hell am I writing about this you may ask? It just came to me because I thought about being older and not wanting to be singing a song, writing a poem about whomever it is I love now but can't have because of the decisions I made before really thinking about it. I don't want to be with anyone that I just love I want to be with someone I'm IN love with.

Someone once said that love doesn't die it just changes. I do believe it was Dawson at his parents' wedding on Dawson's Creek (don't judge me !). I thought it was so true and appropriate I want my love and my love's love to keep changing into something that's so much better than the last.

I Want To Be Made...

Cable is the devil's playground. I swear. As soon as I start watching one thing 5 minutes later I'm watching something else promising to return to the first thing but after changing the channel 6 additional times I forgot what the first show was. SMH. It's tragic.

I have a few staples that I do watch almost everyday.

"MADE" on MTV - I am obsessed. I absolutely love this show. It's weird because I don't know why. I think I like the Cinderella thing. It's great... OK well most times it's great. Maybe only for me though.

"Pimp My Ride" on MTV2 - I love to watch the crappy cars get made over. I love the rapport between the mechanics and Xzibit is hilarious.

"Wild 'N Out" on MTV2 - OK Nick cannon isn't the greatest actor/rapper/whatever it is he actually does but the skits are sometimes funny and the comedians he works with are hilarious.

"Iron Chef" on Fine Living - The theatrics from these Asian people and the voice overs are the funniest shit on TV next to "MXC" which used to be on Spike. The mystery ingredient is always creepy and the chefs are hilarious. The food always looks interesting.

"Iron Chef America" on Food Network - Not as funny as it's counterpart but still good. I love the food they prepare as well.

"Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives" on Food Network - I just like seeing food prepared and Guy Fieri always gives us some nice options.

"Living Singe" on Oxygen - Ground breaking for the black community and it's a classic. I love the show it was hilarious and fresh. I watch the almost daily marathons that are on Oxygen.

"Ace of Cakes" on Food Network - Hilarious! I love the cakes they are so talented but the characters themselves are HILARIOUS! The jokes are so funny.

(click pics to go to show sites)

Bits and Pieces from Movies on the Movie channels (I'll do a later post with Movies I Saw Last Week)

Bits and pieces of Music videos.

This is sad huh? There's nothing educational, nothing about the news. Frivolous frippery, save us all Lord.

Wheres the fucking music?

I am always the person to watch the music awards show and give a nice little feedback here once it's over. Last night though, the American Music Awards, I just couldn't stand the bullshit. It was literally just one big amalgamation of people with no talent (alright 80% no talent) screaming in my face. I couldn't do it. The music scene is just not what it used to be. Ego trips, schizo trips, designer pantyliners. Wheres the fucking music? Wheres the fucking music?

PP Beyonce looked real good in her performance, Rihanna looked real good on the red carpet as did Queen Latifah. Mariah just ain't what she used to be and Leona Lewis is cute but forgettable.

Posts from the BB

Damn, damn, damn. I watched Antoine Fisher for the first time earlier this year. I cried through the entire movie. That was a moving, life altering experience for me.

As I also did at the funeral scene in Four Weddings and a Funeral

As Brokeback Mountain just did. It went way past the gay theme,cinematically it was perfect. I def see why Ang Lee won the Oscar. I'm on the verge of tears. It was as emotional as you can get. Whoooooo

Posts from the BB

I cried this morning for the first time in ages. I was reading a book, very beauty and the besta esque, and the hero had burn scars on his body and I thought I know what this man is going through because I go through life feeling like I have scars all over my body. I feel like I repulse people, most times I think people just pity me because that's what you do to people who are as badly scarred as I am. Sure you can't see those scars but they are there. Almost everyday I feel like this and I cried because all of that just came rushing to the fore.

I know that life's not easy on anyone, and I have felt good about me over the past few years but I still have that nigling feeling that my friends are just there because I have just always been thre and refused to let go. Like a fucking parasite. I'm not pretty, never have been never will be, my personality leaves a lot to be desired. I'm moody, introverted, shy... It goes on and on.

Ugly and dull that about sums up my entire life. Thanks for listening.

Posts from the BB

I want kp to know that I love her, seriously for always being super supportive of me and by extension the things I do. I love you kp now and possibly forever so u better deal with it.

I've been trying to get a few persons I know and like to do guest posts on here but its harder than a mofo to get them to even consider it. *sigh* I'm bored with myself writing on here. Tired of reading my own hoopla. I want something new, something fresh. Oh well I know someone will come through, let me rephrase I HOPE someone will.

So...I have a beard.

Yes I am a woman, and yes I have a vagina and yes I have a beard. I usually try to hide that fact because I really am not proud of it but there's not much biologically that I can do about it. I want to thank all of those persons who snicker behind my back, laugh in front of my face just be actual assholes about it. Thank you.

I've never cried about it nor have I cursed the devil about it. There are somethings where crying and rationalizing and cursing just won't help. So I live with it. Every damn day. I don't let it grow but I'm very careful when getting rid of it because the only thing more unattractive than a beard on an already struggling with attractiveness girl is razor bumps (eww...!)

So yeah... I have a beard.

Fuck you.

Reflective

I haven't been in a reflective mood in a while. I'm not sure if i ever mentioned The Wandering Caravan blog before but it's an amazing read. Very historically based, very interesting, guaranteed to put you in a reflective mood. A great blog about black history (somewhat) mostly about the black gay man's struggle to be. The blog is biased (but name one blog that isn't including this one) but historically very poignant, the blog literally made me research some facts (because I don't take no man's word as gospel) and that's one of the beauties about it. Makes you think, makes you reflect.

The fact that the author calls himself the Bronze Buckaroo is totally endearing as well. After watching a docu about black Western themed (cowboy) movies of the 20's and 30's Ive been enthralled. Herb Jeffries, a pioneer in the genre, was gorgeous! The movies they looked so fun and funny and I can only imagine watching a movie in those times called "The Bronze Buckaroo" with an almost all black cast. What must have the people thought? I bet it's the same that alot of people thought at 11pm Nov 4th, 'My kids can be/are/will be someone.' Absolute pioneers.

So fittingly !!Hot Guy Of This Day!! is... HERB JEFFERIES! Hot Guy of September 24, 1911. The man could/can sing... but that's not why he's so HOT!

Herbert - This very English-sounding boy's name is in fact Old French/German in origin (the French pronunciation is Air-Bair), based like many old French names on Germanic words. These are heri or hari "army" and berth "bright" or "famous."

Today's title pic is beautiful...

**P.P. - WTF is this man talking about? So I'm on a call while writing this post and the man goes on a tangent about uniting communities and leaving out drama. WTF? WTF? "Jahoviah is our father," "Marcus Garvey say..." *raised brow?* Quoting bible verses, the Lord's prayer? I cannot and I simply REFUSE!!!

Stop... Obama time...

Why are bitches so loud? Why are bitches bitches? I can't even express. Woosa. That bitch just messed up my whole flow.

So Barack Obama huh?

Stop... Obama time...

I cannot even express. I can't. I can't. There are no words. No words. I'm tearing up reading shit on the internet left right and center. I'm at work trying not to break down like a fool. What I love about the voters this election is the way people want to work together to solve the issues. They aren't just depending on President-elect Obama (:-D) to solve all their problems they want to be involved in the process they want to solve their own problems. That is what is most inspiring about Obama he inspires you to want to do better to be better to make the world better. He inspires you to want to be apart of the porocess.

Someeone commented on a site I was reading that they were ready, ready for the work, ready to do what they needed to do to ensure that the policies that are important to them are at the fore. I've never been the greatest fan of America. I like them, they remind me of Jamaica in some ways but the country is entirly too large, too many people and with so many different views the issues and problems will never be fully addressed. In that we are common. Jamaica is too small, but still too many people with similar or the same ideologies equals horrid conditions and no progress.

I want to do my part for the world. Be apart of this world I was born into. I will make the decisions, I will be the change the world needs and if enough people say this, if enough people believe we can change the world.

Title pic is absolutely beautiful...

Sexy!

You know what I think is sexy....?

A guy's face. I love men's faces it's the best...second best part about them. I love it more than their bodies. It's all in the face for me.

I think an unadorned lower back on both men and women is very sexy. Women have that curve...I love my curve I think it's hella sexy and on men there's just something about the lower back that gets me heated.

I like a man who wears his gear not too tight but just tight enough. Just enough...I love it. He looks tailored and you just want to tear it off.

I LOVE how men smell. I love their cologne. It makes me think about good things, naughty things, nice things and not so nice things. I absolutely love how they smell so different than women. I think this only applies to me I like though because some men just smell normal..

I love when a guy's looking at me like he wants to eat me up. That shit is sexy. I miss those looks.

A well placed tattoo is soooooo sexy.

You know what else is sexy...? Queerty Knows Best is hella sexy...as always.

You see what I mean about SEXY! You just can't buy that shit...I literally panted over these men. Damn me and my horny hide. Thank you Christopher, Jameson, Joey, Luciano, Marlon, Max, Nido and Sean for making my (and millions of others) day. Thank you, really THANK YOU!

All gorgeous swoontastic men brought to you by Queerty and their Morning Goods section. Please, for me, enjoy.

Title pic is just as it suggests....SEXY!

NEW JEANS!

I love these new jeans I'm wearing to work today. Oh yeah...Molds to my glutteous minimus like white on rice...Oh yeah! Feeling sexy...Going out tonight...Feels good!!!!


I'm so sad...I need to get laid...Seriously.

There are some bloggers who take this blogging thing way too fucking seriously. They really love the notoriety and fame and they want it for them selves. I do it because I want somewhere to vent and I love writing my ish down.

I was so in love with this blog we'll just call it First Born Blog (not it's real name) or FBB. I really loved this blog, liked the writing style, loved the topics... really liked their sarcasm and wit. Then I don't know what happened... FBB started getting a little fame and all that shit went to their head. The whole aim of the site changed from merely reportring to providing baseless advice. WTF? Are you for real? Sometimes you just wanna smack a bitch in the face and say 'Nigga please!'. Critics are now viewed as haters...Oh yeah we hating alright hating the shit you spewing. I can't spend anymore time talking about this ish. FBB if you know what's good for you you'll shut the fuck up an grow the fuck up. You 25 years old? Nigga are you sure? Because you sound like you 5 years old half the time.

I'm just stating an opinion...I don't even go on that shit no more I can't take the bullshit.


WOOSA!!!



My new fave is B. Scott that's actually someone I can enjoy reading and watching. That voice can be a tad cat on a hot tin roof but I love it and realize it's a part of the persona. I can get with it. Check out my Daily Dose for all the Love Muffin goodness...I'm a love muffin and damn proud of it. B.Scott is a fierce beyotch... "Oh lawd haffmercy...Kelly Clarkson, Eddie Musrphy"

I've seen quite a few movies over the past month or so. I watched "Smokin Aces" last night and I have mixed feelings about it. I like Jeremy Piven. I loved him in "PCU" loved is too weak a word though I ADORED him. He was short and cute and very unassuming. I loved him in the TV show "Cupid" I wish they hadn't cancelled that show I actually liked it. Then again I was young and I had a crush on him so I may be biased...*sigh* Ok back to the point, at least I think I had a point, I don't know how I feel about that movie. I kinda liked it, I liked the dynamics of it...I'd rather watch it than see "I am Legend" again so I guess it's a win. Maybe.

So I wrote this Meme on August 4, 2007. The funny and sad thing is all (except #17) of these answers are the same.

1. Where is your mobile phone? In My Bag…
2. Relationship? Seeking…
3. Your hair? Growing…
4. Work? Tiring…
5. Your sister(s)? Young…
6. Your favorite thing? Books…
7. Your dream last night? Forgettable…
8. Your favorite drink? Cran-Strawberry… (and Vodka)
9. Your dream car? Large…
10. The room you're in? Packed…
11. Your shoes? Cute…
12. Your fears? Scary…
13. What do you want to be in 10 years? Happy…
14. Who did you hang out with last weekend? Tamika C.…
15. What are you not good at? Relationships…
16. Muffin? Stud…
17. Wish list item? Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (it's the name of a book it qualifies as one word)
18. Where you grew up? Troubled…
19. The last thing you did? Laughed…
20. What are you wearing? Black…
21. What are you not wearing? Panties…
22. Your pet? Dead…
23. Your computer? Nonexistent…
24. Your life? Rut…
25. Your mood? Drained…
26. Missing? Love...
27. What are you thinking about? Wishes…
28. Your car? JUTC…
29. Your kitchen? Lasagna…
30. Your summer? Long…
31. Your favourite colour? Uncreated…
32. Last time you laughed? Bliss…
33. Last time you cried? Tammy…
34. School? Undead…
35. Love? Evasive…

!!HOT Guy Of This Day!! In honor of the hotness that is Mr. Piven. !!Hot guy of July 26, 1965!!

Jeremy ~ Variant of Jeremiah: May Jehovah Exalt. Exalted of the Lord

101 Things...

I LOVE those '101 things to do I I LOVE those before you die' lists, you always get some interesting ideas. A big part of my life is reading and enjoying the written word. I kinda hate it when people say '...the written word...' very elitist I think. So I've read a few books in my lifetime. I started calling myself an avid reader in University when I would scour the library for books to read. I was all the way in the back where the lights don't work properly and it smells of dust and old people. I think I was at my happiest when I was there. I read through most of the Toni Morrison they had, opened my mind to Walter Mosley, crave the surreal Octavia Butler and some other authors. I was in heaven. The Toni Morrison novels made me believe in art. Her books were works of art, I could feel and see the painting before me. Beautiful. I decided to share what I so thoroughly enjoyed. I'll try to post as many as I can remember.

WALTER MOSLEY

Devil in a Blue Dress , A Red Death, White Butterfly, Black Betty, Bad Boy Brawly Brown, Six Easy Pieces, Little Scarlet, Cinnamon Kiss, Fearless Jones, Blue Light, Futureland: Nine Stories of an Imminent World, Always Outnumbered, Always Outgunned, The Man in the Basement, Walkin' The Dog.

TONI MORRISON

The Bluest Eye , Sula, Song of Solomon, Beloved.

OCTAVIA BUTLER

Fledgling, Bloodchild and Other Stories.

The White Boy Shuffle by Paul Beatty
The Hand I Fan With by Tina McElroy Ansa

I Been in Sorrow's Kitchen and Licked Out All the Pots by Susan Straight
The Color Purple by Alice Cooper

This is only a few of those I can remember, once I can remember the rest I'll be sure to add. I always wanted to start a book club but have yet to find persons who want to hold discussions about them. Oh well...

Title pic...

1 ?

Why is it that when I come to work I have a horrible pain in my neck and right arm? This is not good. This is not good at all. *sigh* *OWW!!!**

Title pic -

Book, Box, Envelopes, T-shirt

So here I am at work...Trying to breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth. You know keep calm before the work day begins. Someone I don't know taps me on the shoulder hands me a bright red bag and asks me to sign for it. I look around puzzled as it seems there are a few other persons with the similar bag looking quite pleased and I am thinking OK cool sure I'll sign. Though my workplace was decorated like Christmas morning with red balloons and other fandangles I thought 'Oh great another effing promotion', I had no clue the fanfare was for us lowly office workers. So upon opening the bag I see a book, a box, some envelopes and a T-shirt.

1. The book - Who Moved my Cheese? by Spencer Johnson
2. The envelopes - Letters saying thanks for being a ****** employee and US$100 (YEAH!)
3. The T-shirt - Red polo type shirt, the type I love to wear with the slogan I am ******* on the front (A few sizes smaller than my bulk but who cares right?)
4. The box - a brand new Burgundy Blackberry Curve 8320...WHAT?! Yes you heard right a Burgundy Blackberry Curve 8320.

So I'm hyperventilating thinking 'OH.MY.GOD.!!!' Over and over again. I'm thinking 'Yes! Now I can sell it and make an easy money' Alas. I'll prolly sell it within a month or so but I'm too excited... I always say that I love and hate my job at the same time and this is definately one of the reasons I like it.

Today's title pic...I made myself -

Guys always say that they want a girl who's real, down-to-earth. Why are they lying?

It's OK to say you want a girl that's hot, that's nice to look at. Someone whose simpering sighs and obnoxious whines keep you interested. At least I would understand and respect you more for it. Please stop with regurgitating what you think is politically correct and what people expect to hear. It's all instinct and I for one understand that at our base we are no more than animals. We have the same principles all we did is learn how to control those base urges. We developed those super-egos and never looked back. But still we are animals and as animals we are attracted to what it is that we think is best for us. Best to have kids with, best to make us better. Best. and for certain we are a pack of wolves trying not only to be the leader but to also attract a leader.

So cut the bullshit about wanting what's on the inside because Real girls like me, down-to-earth girl like me who are often sitting alone at home don't buy it.

RANDOM THOUGHT

RANDOM THOUGHT - Some bitches do shit to stay relevant to people who don't give a shit. It's hilarious to me why the fuck you think I need to know that you know this and that person or that your degree/diploma/car/child/man/woman...Fuck I can't stand it. I need people to stop telling me dumb shit and stop abusing my senses. My workplace is like bullshit central. How much can one person really take?

WOOSA!

RANDOM THOUGHT - Ok so I've been severely obsessed with babies, celebrity babies, babes I know, kids who used to be babies. They are so adorable and I just want a baby to enter my life. I don't want to have one (Hell No...i'm only 22 after all) but I want someone I know to have a baby so I can go through the experience with them. I love me some babies. *sigh*

RANDOM THOUGHT - I've been losing a little weight, not by effort but purely coincidence. I have less to eat and I don't snack as much and with watching TV and the internet there seems to be no time for eating in between meals. I'm trying to increase my water intake and take more vitamins. Who knows maybe I will reach my goal weight of 160 lbs one day.

RANDOM THOUGHT - When I was in high school (Big ups to the ole pink and green) my history class in grades 10 and 11 were the most hilarious and nonsensical calsses I ever had. My teacher (used loosely) was a riot, ask anyone now who was in that class they immediately start laughing and crying. WORST! I passed the time while she talked about Tainos to artistically draw boys names on each and every page of my notebook (time well spent I thought) Then when I got even more idle and she moved on to her time spent in Europe teaching (again loosely) English (laughable) to young catholic school boys I began my search for the meaning of names and I wrote the meaning for every name I had drawn in the book. Good times, good times. Reminisce.

Welcome back !!HOT GUY ON THIS DAY!! Another feature that's been left by the wayside for a few months. Today's !!HOT GUY of August 5, 1981!! is Travis McCoy of Gym Class Heroes. Theres just something about his quirky persona that I like... I like them creative and quirky...

Travis ~ It is of Old French origin, and its meaning is "to cross over". Occupational name for gate-keepers and others who collected tolls at bridges and fords.

Isn't that some effed up ish? I love it...I think I'm going to start to include it in posts.

Title pic for today - is as the name suggests...random.

Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow

September 11th huh? I watched a special on the Hstory channel last night where they showed the tragedy completely from amateur footage of persons from all vatage points in New York. It was...tragic to say the least. Tragic and sad. The World Trade Center buildings fell and I was so saddened, I was angry too. These are people's lives. People who have families and thought they would be seeing those families at the end of the day. Seeing those people hang out windows, waving whatever they could in hopes of being rescued tore at my heart. It felt like it was haoppening all over again. The firefighters, police, emergency workers...and just plain ole joe schmo who were trying to help as many people as they could. I felt as if I was watching a movie. A horrible movie.

As I watched though what I also thought about was the daily tragedies in countries such as Afghanistan, Haiti, Dem. Republic of Congo, Iraq, North Korea...it's endless...Somalia, Darfur...It's fucking endless, this list. Those people don't have cameras to document their atrocities and the few who do, what they've recorded could never be shown on television. We are bombarded by news from the US, the news, reviews...almost every feed we have is filtered through this country and of course top priority will always be themsleves. It's sad taht there are some kids who don't even know there is a whole Eastern Hemisphere. I by no means and will never endorse what happened that day, but I will certainly embrace that Americans are not the only one who suffer. They commemorate a day...what about those who live thorugh it every day. Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow are all September 11th for them.